I hope you've enjoyed gettting to know local Parent Coach, Tina Feigal, over the last several weeks and reading her featured articles.  This week, I will be reviewing Tina's book, The Pocket Coach For Parents.  You will have a chance to enter to WIN a copy of the book for yourself at the end of this article!

For me personally, parenting books are something that I always have good intentions on, until reality sets in.  If I had the time, I'd read as many parenting books as I could get my hands on.  I would welcome the guidance, strategies and tips from the experts with open arms.  Unfortunately, being a working Mom of 2 small children doesn't afford many opportunities for sitting down and having quiet time with a good book.  Although, maybe if I read more of these books, I would learn how to make this happen, hmmmm...

When Tina offered to send me her book, The Pocket Coach For Parents, I was very excited for the opportunity to read it.  I love Tina's unique approach and couldn't wait to learn more.  I admit, I was wondering when I would find the time, but I took the plunge and made the commitment.  When the book arriived in the mail, my anxiety was lifted, the book was under 100 pages - I can do this!   As it states on the back cover, Tina's book is "short and to the point, exactly the right length to learn Present Moment Parenting and start seeing its remarkable results right away".

The Pocket Coach For Parents is a two-week guide/workbook that will teach you step by step about Present Moment Parenting and the Nurtured Heart Approach.   Don't worry If you've never heard of these methods, neither had I.  The book also includes a CD recording of Tina coaching a Mom which I found to be very fascinating.

Tina begins the book by providing the science behind how a child's brain works.  This brief background helps us to understand why traditional punishment isn't effective.   Instead, Present Moment Parenting & the Nurturned Heart approach encourage building your child up and delivering the message, "I am a good kid and I can do the right thing".    By watching for your child's good behavior and using your energy to recognize it with positive statements, you are encouraging them to repeat the behavior.    Learning about this approach was one of the many "A-ha" moments that I experienced while reading this book.  How many times have you noticed your child sharing with a sibling, playing nicely with a friend and said nothing?  I know I've done this before.  I may smile to myself and breathe a sigh of relief but I missed a prime opportunity.  I could have used that moment to remind my child that this is the exact behavior I am looking for and how proud I am of them.  See what I mean, A-ha!

In terms of dealing with the bad behavior, Tina has fantastic, easy to implement ideas on this as well.  Tina recommends calling a family meeting to involve everyone in establishing the rules of the house.  After that, if a rule is broken, the child is simply told "broke a rule, take a break".  This "break" is different than the ones we're accustomed to enforcing, you know, the ones the Reality TV Nanny taught us about.  The break lasts only 30 seconds and takes place in the room where you are at.  The key is not to give any of your "energy" to the infraction.  The child is not given a warning, allowed to negotiate, banished to another room or given a lengthy speech about why they are taking a break.  Once the break is over, you thank them for taking the break and redirect them onto another activity.   

 I can easily see myself applying this approach to my own family.  I love to see the smile on my son's face and his little chest puff up when I give him a compliment.  In fact, when I tell him what a great job he's done, he can't wait to do it again to get even more praise.  How great it would be to have compliments and praise ruling our house instead of "don't do this" and "stop that".  Setting your child up for success and building them up into the person you want them to be sounds much more appealing than parenting like what Tina calls "the behavior police". 

 The Pocket Coach For Parents touches on other useful topics including being consistent, teaching values, transforming the difficult bedtime, when your child lies and preventing  your child from being overscheduled.  Applying these techniques to the intense child and teens is also of interest.

The two-week plan Tina lays out in the book is amazing.  It takes what may seem like a daunting task and breaks it into small pieces, day by day, to make it manageable.  Not every family that wants to try this approach will be completely remodeled in two weeks.  However, Tina gives you the tools and breaks down the concepts so you can tackle them one at a time.  Once you've got a handle on one piece you can move onto the next.

Whether you have an intense child or you're feeling like you need to try something new, I would highly recommend reading The Pocket Coach For Parents.  Tina's fresh approach is inspiring and I definitely took away some great ideas that I will be implementing into my own household. 

Enter to WIN your copy of The Pocket Coach For Parents by Tina Feigal, HERE

Learn more about Tina, her practice and her book, “The Pocket Coach for Parents” at www.parentingmojo.com